Witches: Salem, 1692 — Mass hysteria without the theatrical screaming

I listened to this on a red-eye from LAX to JFK. Middle seat. The guy next to me was snoring like a chainsaw, which honestly set the perfect mood for a book about mass hysteria and people losing their minds in close quarters.

Here's the thing about history books—most of them are dry enough to start a brush fire. I picked this up because I wanted to understand the mechanics of a witch hunt. (I work with startups; I see mob mentality in boardrooms every week. Don't ask.) Stacy Schiff wrote Cleopatra, which was solid, so I figured she'd bring that same ROI here. She did, mostly. But man, did I have to work for it.

The Anti-Theatrical Performance

Let's talk about Eliza Foss. If you're expecting a narrator who does spooky voices or cackles like the Wicked Witch of the West, you're going to be disappointed. And thank God for that.

Foss plays it straight. Aggressively straight. She reads this like a court reporter who has seen it all and is just trying to get the facts on the record before lunch. For a topic this sensational—we're talking about convulsing teenagers and executions—her restraint is actually the best part. It anchors you.

(Though, at hour 14, her calmness almost put me to sleep. I had to bump the speed to 2.5x just to keep my pulse up. Jenny would say I have an attention span problem. I say the book has a pacing problem.)

Arthur Miller Lied to Us

Most of us know Salem from The Crucible in high school English class. That was drama. This is data.

Schiff is meticulous. She treats history like a forensic audit. She doesn't just tell you people were accused; she tracks the viral spread of the accusations like a contagion map. World War Z does something similar—tracking panic as it spreads across continents, except with zombies instead of Puritans. Fascinating to watch how a community literally implodes because a few people decided to leverage fear for social capital.

But here's the rub: Real life doesn't have a clean three-act structure. The middle of this book drags. It's repetitive. Accusation, trial, jail, repeat. Felt like being in a meeting that should've been an email.

Schiff unpacks every single detail. The weather. The political tension with England. The exact temperature of the jail cells. Impressive research, sure. But as a listener? I zoned out. I had the opposite problem with Story of Joan of Arc—another historical figure caught in a religious witch hunt, but that one moved too fast and skipped details I actually wanted. There were whole chapters where I was thinking about my grocery list instead of Puritan jurisprudence.

Who Gets Value Here (And Who Doesn't)

If you're looking for spooky Halloween vibes, skip it. Go read Stephen King. But if you want to see exactly how a society breaks down when logic leaves the building—and you have the patience to sift through 18 hours of dense historical context—it's worth a credit. Startup founders, anyone who's watched groupthink destroy a project, history nerds who actually enjoy footnotes: this one's for you.

Just do yourself a favor: Listen at 1.5x minimum. Life is too short for slow-motion misery.