Driving back from a client site in Houston - four hours of I-10 through nothing but scrub brush and oil derricks - when Hiaasen's python swallowed its first victim. Nearly swerved into the median. Ranger, riding shotgun as usual, gave me a look like I'd lost my mind.
Let me cut to the chase: Squeeze Me is Carl Hiaasen doing what he does best, which is making Florida look exactly as unhinged as we all suspect it is. The setup's simple enough - wealthy socialite disappears during a charity gala, and a certain unnamed (but extremely recognizable) President immediately blames immigrants. The truth involves a Burmese python the size of a Humvee and a wildlife wrangler named Angie Armstrong who's basically the only competent person in the entire book. That same blend of absurdist plot and one capable woman holding everything together shows up in Ruby and the Caldron, though with considerably less reptile digestion.
When Satire Hits Close to Home
Here's the thing about political satire during politically insane times - it's either going to land or it's going to feel like someone beating you over the head with a newspaper. Hiaasen walks that line pretty well. The "Potussies" - a group of wealthy women devoted to the President - are absurd, but I've met people at security conferences who aren't far off. The Winter White House scenes have that specific flavor of chaos that anyone who's worked government adjacent will recognize.
The President character is obvious. Too obvious for some folks, apparently - I saw reviews from people who bailed because it was "too political." Look, if you can't laugh at a Commander-in-Chief who's more worried about optics than a missing constituent, maybe skip this one. But if you've ever sat in a briefing room watching leadership prioritize the wrong thing while the real problem slithers away (sometimes literally), you'll appreciate the dark humor.
Scott Brick Channels His Inner Anchor Desk
Scott Brick narrates this like he's reading the most serious news broadcast of his career - while the news itself is completely bonkers. That's the genius of it. His voice has that sonorous, authoritative quality that makes every absurd development sound like breaking news. When he's describing pink pearls emerging from python excrement, he maintains the gravitas of a CNN correspondent covering a national crisis.
His character work is solid. The wealthy Palm Beach types get this slightly nasal, entitled edge. Angie Armstrong - our python-wrangling protagonist - comes across as no-nonsense and competent. Reminded me of the best NCOs I ever served with - just gets the job done while everyone else panics. The contrast between his salt-of-the-earth characters and the lampooned elite is sharp enough to cut.
One thing I appreciated: Brick doesn't oversell the comedy. He trusts Hiaasen's writing to be funny and just delivers it straight. That restraint makes the absurdity hit harder.
The Mission Wanders a Bit
I've got to be honest - this isn't a tight tactical operation. Hiaasen's narrative wanders. You'll be tracking the python situation, then suddenly we're deep in the President's paranoia, then we're following the First Lady's Secret Service detail, then back to Angie. It's not quite random, but it's definitely not linear.
For a long drive, that's actually fine. I wasn't trying to solve a puzzle - I was just enjoying the chaos. But if you're the type who needs a clean plot with clear objectives, you might get frustrated. Think of it less like a mission briefing and more like war stories at the bar - entertaining, occasionally meandering, ultimately satisfying.
Who Should Gear Up (And Who Should Stand Down)
This is for you if: You've got windshield time to kill, you can laugh at politics without your blood pressure spiking, and you appreciate Florida being portrayed as America's most entertaining disaster zone. The 11-plus hours flew by for me.
Skip it if: You want your fiction politics-free, or you need tight plotting. Also, if you're genuinely afraid of snakes, maybe don't. Hiaasen gets descriptive about the python's... digestive processes.
Mission Debrief
Squeeze Me won't change your life, but it'll make a long drive disappear. Hiaasen's been doing this for decades and he's still sharp. The satire's pointed but not preachy, the characters are memorable, and Scott Brick delivers it all with exactly the right deadpan energy.
Ranger slept through most of it, which means it wasn't too loud or jarring. That's actually a compliment - good audiobooks don't startle the dog. Worth your time? Absolutely. Especially if you need a reminder that reality is often stranger than fiction, and sometimes the only sane response is to laugh.
Mission accomplished.
