Ever look at a decorative nutcracker and calculate the force required to fracture a human skull?
I didn't think so. But apparently, at the Reindeer Games Christmas Tree Farm, holiday cheer comes with a side of blunt force trauma. I picked this one up while walking Ranger—my German Shepherd—along the Lady Bird Lake trail here in Austin. It's eighty degrees out, I'm sweating through my t-shirt, and I'm listening to Allyson Ryan describe a blizzard in Mistletoe, Maine. The contrast is enough to give you whiplash.
TARGET PACKAGE: COZY, BUT CUTTHROAT
Let's be real—I usually stick to nonfiction or thrillers where the stakes involve national security, not the reputation of a Bed & Breakfast. But my wife Linda insisted I needed a break from "books where everything explodes." So here we are.
The setup is standard operating procedure for this genre: Holly White runs her family's tree farm, a nasty critic named Cleo checks in, and promptly checks out—permanently—via a toy box. The weapon? A metal nutcracker. I'll give the author credit for improvised munitions. In the field, you use what you have.
The investigation focuses on clearing a local named Cookie. It moves at a decent clip, about the speed of a standard ruck march. You aren't getting deep forensic analysis here—it's more gossip and cookies than DNA and ballistics—but the logic holds up better than some Pentagon briefings I've sat through.
AUDIO INTEL: RYAN'S RANGE (AND ITS LIMITS)
Now, about the voice in my ear. Allyson Ryan handles the narration. The general consensus from other listeners is that she's fantastic, and for the female characters, I agree. I also clocked her over on Becoming Brilliant: What Science Tells Us About Raising Successful Children, where the mission is parenting science instead of murder by seasonal décor. She captures Holly's spunky, slightly overwhelmed vibe perfectly. Keeps the energy up, which you need when the plot revolves around baking contests and gift-wrapping drives.
But—and here's where I break with popular opinion—her male voices need work.
Sheriff Evan Gray is supposed to be the law in this town. When Ryan voices him, he sounds less like a lawman and more like a barista who's afraid to tell you they're out of oat milk. Common issue with single-narrator audiobooks. It didn't ruin the mission, but every time the Sheriff spoke, I found myself wishing for a little more bass, a little more command presence. If one of my Lieutenants sounded like that over the radio, I'd have them running laps.
WHO'S THIS MISSION FOR?
If you want gritty realism, go elsewhere. If you need a mental palate cleanser that involves murder but feels like a Hallmark movie, this is your ticket. Skip it if weak male voice characterization pulls you out of a story—that Sheriff will test your patience.
COOPER'S FINAL ASSESSMENT
Is it high art? No. Is it "The Things They Carried"? Definitely not. But it's a solid, low-stakes mystery that kept me entertained for eight hours of walking the dog.
The plot is tighter than I expected for a book with a pun in the title. The victim, Cleo, was such a nightmare that the suspect list was legitimately long—the reporter, the contractor, the confectioner. Kept me guessing until the final approach.
Ranger didn't seem to mind it either, though he mostly just wanted the frisbee.
