So here's the thing about self-help audiobooks on relationships: they're either so clinical you feel like you're in a therapist's waiting room, or so woo-woo you want to throw your phone out the train window. Opening Up lands somewhere refreshingly in between, and I finished it over maybe four commutes - which for a 12-hour book on relationship structures is pretty solid pacing.
I went into this skeptical. Not about the content - I've got friends in various relationship configurations and I'm genuinely curious about how people make non-traditional stuff work - but about whether an audiobook format would work for what's essentially a reference guide. Spoiler: mostly yes, with one significant asterisk I'll get to.
The Framework That Actually Makes Sense
Taormino does something smart here. Instead of being preachy about polyamory being The Way or whatever, she basically treats open relationships like a software architecture problem. (Yes, I'm that person.) Here are the different models, here are the common failure modes, here are the debugging strategies. She interviews over a hundred people and synthesizes their experiences into actual actionable frameworks.
The jealousy chapter alone is worth the listen. She breaks down jealousy into component emotions - insecurity, fear of loss, comparison - and gives you specific tools for each. It's the kind of systematic approach that my engineer brain appreciates. Not "just communicate more" but actual scripts, boundary-setting techniques, and common pitfalls.
The time management section hit different for me. Even in a monogamous relationship, Kevin and I struggle with balancing work, friends, hobbies, each other. The strategies here apply way beyond the polyamory context - calendar blocking, quality time metrics, how to handle scheduling conflicts without resentment building up. Honestly, some of this should be in regular relationship books.
Jo Anna Perrin's Grandmotherly BDSM Delivery
Okay, the asterisk. Jo Anna Perrin has this clear, measured delivery that works great for the explanatory content. Someone described her as sounding like "your surprisingly chill and nonjudgmental grandmother" and... yeah, that's weirdly accurate? There's something almost amusing about hearing frank discussions of BDSM dynamics in this calm, grandmotherly tone.
But here's where it gets rough: she does voices for the interview quotes. Male voices. And look, I get why - she's trying to differentiate between Taormino's analysis and the interviewees' stories. But since she announces who's speaking after each quote anyway, the voice acting is just... unnecessary? It slowed me down. I found myself getting distracted by the performance instead of absorbing the content.
I bumped it up to 1.75x during the interview-heavy sections, which helped. The actual instructional parts at normal speed are fine. It's not terrible narration, but it's not great either. If you're sensitive to that kind of thing, the print version might be your better bet.
Beyond the Poly Crowd
Here's my honest assessment: this isn't just for people actively pursuing open relationships. It's useful for anyone who wants to understand relationship dynamics at a deeper level. The communication frameworks, the boundary-setting techniques, the jealousy management - that's universal stuff. I found similar universally applicable relationship insights in We'll Always Have Summer, though that one comes at it from a completely different angle.
Fair warning though: there's a decent amount of BDSM content woven throughout. Taormino's background is in that space, and it shows. If that's not your thing, you might find yourself skipping sections. It's not gratuitous, but it's definitely present.
The book is also pretty comprehensive, which is both a strength and a weakness. At 12 hours, it covers everything from solo polyamory to swinging to relationship anarchy. Great if you want the full picture. Less great if you're looking for quick answers to specific questions - this isn't a book you can easily scrub through to find the chapter you need.
The Bottom Line on Your Time Investment
Quick Verdict: The content is solid - practical, well-researched, genuinely useful even if you're happily monogamous. The narration is... functional. Not a dealbreaker, but not a selling point either.
Queue it up if: you're genuinely curious about how open relationships work, or you want better communication frameworks for any relationship. Long commutes where you can zone into the content are ideal. Skip if: you need something for gym sessions or anything requiring divided attention, or if quirky narrator voice choices drive you up a wall.
The ROI on this audiobook is decent. Just maybe sample the narration first to see if the voice thing bothers you. It didn't ruin it for me, but I can see why some people bounced off it hard.
