"I don't care anymore."
That line hit me somewhere around the two-hour mark, and I had to pause my work because - okay, hear me out - Samantha's complete emotional shutdown? I felt that in my bones. There's something about a protagonist who's so done with everyone's nonsense that she becomes almost feral, and Tijan wrote that energy perfectly. That raw, unfiltered emotion reminded me of Sing, Unburied, Sing - different genre entirely, but the same kind of protagonist who refuses to perform for anyone.
I picked this up because I was in a mood. You know the mood. The one where you want messy drama, hot brothers (yes, plural, don't judge me), and a heroine who gives exactly zero cares about social hierarchies. Abuela would have clutched her rosary SO hard at this one, but she also would've stayed up all night listening. I miss sharing books with her.
Saskia Maarleveld: Dark Honey With an Edge
This woman's voice is like dark honey with an edge - smooth but with this intensity that matches Samantha's whole vibe. She doesn't do subtle, and honestly? This book doesn't need subtle. It needs someone who can deliver teenage rage and confused attraction and family chaos all at once.
Some people find her dramatic. I get it. She's got this gravelly quality that's very present, if that makes sense. Like she's not just reading to you, she's performing a one-woman show in your ears. For me, that worked beautifully with all the high school drama and emotional messiness. But if you prefer narrators who fade into the background - yeah, this isn't that. Saskia IS the show.
Her character voices are distinct enough that I never got confused about who was talking, which matters when you've got this many people causing problems. Mason sounds different from Logan sounds different from Samantha's awful ex-boyfriend. She nails the emotional beats too - there's this moment when Samantha finally cracks, and Saskia's delivery made me tear up while I was literally designing a logo for a pet grooming business. (My client would be horrified.)
Gloriously, Unapologetically Messy
Let me be real: this book is messy. Like, gloriously, unapologetically messy. Samantha's mom is a disaster. Her dad is... also a disaster, just differently. She's forced to move in with her mom's boyfriend and his two sons - Mason and Logan Kade - who are basically high school royalty at the public school they chose over the fancy academy.
The chemistry is chef's kiss. Slow burn with Mason that had me literally yelling at my screen (Frida and Diego were NOT impressed). There's something about enemies-to-more in a forced proximity situation that just hits different, and Tijan knows exactly how to drag out that tension.
Is some of it over the top? Sure. There's bullying, mean girls, parties that seem way too wild for high school, and drama that would make a telenovela writer take notes. Where the Crawdads Sing had that same unapologetic intensity - different setting, but the same commitment to big feelings and high stakes. But that's... kind of the point? It's escapism. It's messy and intense and sometimes ridiculous, and I was HERE for all twelve hours of it.
The pacing worked for me - I listened while doing client work for three days straight, and I never felt like it dragged. There are slower moments where Samantha's processing her emotional numbness, but they felt earned rather than boring.
Your Vibe Check
This is a rainy Sunday book. Or a "I need to feel something dramatic while designing" book. Or a "my life is too calm and I need fictional chaos" book.
If you love young adult romance with an edge, found family vibes, and heroines who are prickly on the outside but hurting underneath - you'll probably love this. Skip it if high school drama makes you roll your eyes, if you need subtle narration, or if you can't handle some steam (it's there, not explicit but definitely present). Also if you're looking for a quick listen, twelve hours is a commitment.
Already Downloading the Next One
My heart. MY HEART. These characters feel like family now, messy and complicated and somehow exactly what I needed.
Abuela would have loved this one. She always had a soft spot for the bad boys with good hearts.
