What happens when you throw the original barbarian against something he literally cannot kill?
I was half-dead on the 6:47 AM Caltrain, somewhere between Millbrae and San Mateo, when Conan got lured to a deserted island by a beautiful woman. And look, even in my pre-coffee state, I knew exactly how this was going to go. Robert E. Howard invented the sword and sorcery genre, and "Devil in Iron" is basically the template that every muscle-bound-hero-vs-ancient-evil story has been copying ever since. The difference? This is the source code, not a fork.
The OG Sword and Sorcery Sprint
At 1 hour 35 minutes, this is a single commute. One way. That's it. And honestly? That's perfect for what this is—a pulp adventure from 1934 that doesn't pretend to be anything else. Octavia lures Conan to Xapur Island, enemies are waiting, but plot twist: there's also Khosatral Khel, a demon made of literal iron who's been sleeping for eons and is now very much awake and very much annoyed.
The setup is so classic it's almost quaint. Beautiful woman as bait? Check. Trap set by enemies? Check. Ancient evil that complicates everyone's plans? Triple check. But here's the thing—Howard wrote this before it became a cliché. Listening to Howard after consuming decades of derivative fantasy is like finally looking at the original codebase after years of maintaining poorly documented forks. Oh, THAT'S why everyone does that.
Howard's later Conan story Red Nails hits even harder if this one hooks you—longer, darker, and the jungle setting makes the claustrophobia feel genuinely earned.
Phil Chenevert and the LibriVox Trade-Off
This is a LibriVox recording, which means it's free and volunteer-narrated. Phil Chenevert handles solo narrator duties, and the production is... functional. Clean audio, no weird background noise or obvious editing artifacts. But it's not going to compete with a professional Audible production. Chenevert reads Howard's prose straightforwardly—no dramatic voice acting, no distinct character voices. More audiobook-as-reading than audiobook-as-performance.
I noticed the same quality in Chenevert's narration of Second Variety—serviceable, gets the job done, but you're really there for the source material, not the delivery.
For a 95-minute pulp adventure, this works fine. Howard's prose does a lot of the heavy lifting anyway. His descriptions of Khosatral Khel—this iron-bodied demon rising from ancient ruins, immune to Conan's sword—don't need theatrical delivery. The words hit hard enough on their own. "Substance as hard as iron" isn't subtle, but it's effective.
The Conan Formula (It Works Because It's Simple)
Here's what I appreciate about Howard: he doesn't waste your time. Modern fantasy would spend three chapters on worldbuilding before Conan even reaches the island. Howard drops you in, keeps the action moving, and wraps it up before you finish your coffee. The pacing is relentless—trap, fight, demon, bigger fight, resolution. Basically an action movie script from 90 years ago.
The gender dynamics are... very 1934. Octavia exists to be beautiful, to be rescued, and to eventually "yield to his powerful kisses" (the summary's words, not mine, but also Howard's words). If you're coming to pulp-era sword and sorcery expecting anything else, you're going to have a bad time. I'm not excusing it, just noting that this is what the genre was before it evolved.
What holds up better is the central problem: how does a guy whose entire skillset is "hit things with sword" defeat something a sword can't hurt? Howard actually makes this interesting. Conan has to think, adapt, find another way. It's not deep, but it's more than just "hero punches harder."
Free Conan is Still Conan
The ROI on this audiobook is technically infinite because it's free. LibriVox exists, and sometimes that's exactly what you need. I wouldn't recommend this as your introduction to Conan—get the professionally narrated stuff for that. But as a quick hit of vintage pulp fantasy on a short commute or while doing dishes? It does the job.
Perfect for: train rides, gym sessions, any situation where you want uncomplicated entertainment. Skip if: you expect modern fantasy sensibilities or production values, or you need more than functional narration to stay engaged.
The Debug Report
This is "ancient evil awakens" circa 1934, written by the guy who invented the trope. The narration is serviceable free-tier quality. The story is lean, mean, and doesn't overstay its welcome. At under two hours, the commitment level is minimal and the payoff is exactly what you'd expect: Conan fights stuff, Conan wins, there's a woman involved.
I finished this before we hit Palo Alto. Sometimes that's all you need.
