Everyone keeps telling me Stuart Woods is the perfect 'beach read' author. Light, breezy, forgettable in the best way. So there I was, chopping onions for a biryani I'd spend three hours making and eat alone over two days, expecting... well, exactly what I got. And somehow that's both the compliment and the criticism.
Let me be clear about what *Carnal Curiosity* is: a competence fantasy wrapped in Manhattan real estate porn. Stone Barrington is rich, connected, impossibly lucky, and every woman finds him irresistible. This is book twenty-nine in the series, which means Woods has this formula down to a science. High-end security systems get outsmarted, wealthy people lose expensive things, Stone happens to be a material witness, and his ex-NYPD partner Dino shows up to trade quips over expensive dinners. Last Trial follows a similar formula with courtroom procedurals—competent professionals doing what they do best, no existential crises required. It's comfort food. My therapist would have thoughts about why I find 'competent rich man solves problems effortlessly' so soothing, but that's a different session.
The Dino Problem (And It Is A Problem)
Tony Roberts is genuinely skilled. His breezy narration carries the book's tone perfectly—there's a charm to how he handles Stone's endless witticisms, and his comedic timing lands when it needs to. AudioFile gave him an Earphones Award for a reason. The man knows what he's doing.
But then Dino opens his mouth.
I'm not exaggerating when I say Roberts voices Detective Dino Bacchetti like a drunk Jackie Gleason. It's... a choice. And look, I understand character differentiation is hard when you've got a cast of similar-sounding wealthy Manhattan types. But Dino is Stone's best friend, his former partner, a recurring character across nearly thirty books. He's in a lot of scenes. Every time he spoke, I got pulled out of the story wondering why this Italian-American detective sounds like he's three martinis deep at a 1950s variety show. Psychologically, this doesn't track—Dino's supposed to be sharp, competent, a foil to Stone's more polished demeanor. The voice undercuts all of that.
Some listeners apparently love Roberts' work across the whole series. Others find the character voices distracting. I'm firmly in the 'distracting' camp, though I'll admit I adjusted by hour three. Stockholm syndrome, maybe.
Stone Barrington: A Case Study in Wish Fulfillment
Here's my issue, and it's more with Woods than Roberts: Stone Barrington exhibits classic wish-fulfillment protagonist syndrome. He's not psychologically interesting. He doesn't grow, doesn't struggle internally, doesn't make mistakes that cost him anything real. The plot mechanics are fine—insider knowledge exploited, wealthy targets made vulnerable by their own security systems, a mastermind with 'intimate ties' to Stone (the book's words, not mine, and yes it's exactly what you think). The last few minutes where multiple plots converge actually work well. But I found myself asking: why does Stone really do any of this? He's already rich. Already connected. The answer seems to be 'because he's bored and likes being clever,' which... fine. But it's not compelling character work.
This is a fascinating case study in how genre fiction can succeed without depth. Woods understands exactly what his readers want: vicarious access to a world of private jets, expensive wine, and crimes that get solved without anyone breaking a sweat. At seven and a half hours, it doesn't overstay its welcome.
Who Should Queue This Up (And Who Should Pass)
If you're already invested in the Stone Barrington series, you know what you're getting. Tony Roberts is consistent with his previous work, Dino voice and all. If you're new to Woods, this isn't a bad entry point—the plot stands alone well enough—but don't expect to understand why Stone apparently has intimate connections to international criminals. That's twenty-eight books of backstory I don't have.
Skip this if you need psychological complexity in your protagonists. Skip this if character voices that don't quite fit will drive you up a wall. But if you want something that moves, entertains, and doesn't ask much of you? The biryani was delicious, by the way. And this book paired with it just fine.
Closing the Case File
Look, I'm not the target audience here. I analyze fictional characters like case studies and I'm not sorry about it. Stone Barrington doesn't hold up to that kind of scrutiny—he's not meant to. He's meant to be aspirational background noise for people who want to imagine themselves solving crimes between expensive meals. That same aspirational fantasy drives Fifty Shades of Grey, though the wish fulfillment there involves different kinds of competence. Roberts delivers that experience capably, drunk-Gleason-Dino notwithstanding. It's popcorn. Sometimes you just want popcorn. The production is clean, the pacing never drags, and by the end you'll have forgotten most of it. That's not failure—that's the design.
