Look. I'm going to be honest with you. I picked this up at 2 AM because I couldn't sleep, Frida was being a menace on my pillow, and I wanted something that wouldn't wreck me emotionally. Sometimes a girl just needs vampire romance that doesn't require emotional preparation, you know? Battlefield Earth gave me that same kind of escapist energy—big, fun, no emotional devastation required.
And that's exactly what Kissing Coffins delivered. Nothing more, nothing less.
Goth Girl Energy That Took Me Back
Raven is searching for Alexander—her vampire boyfriend who disappeared—and the whole thing feels like reading my high school diary if my high school diary had been way cooler and involved actual vampires. There's something genuinely sweet about her devotion, her absolute certainty that love is worth chasing across state lines to sketchy goth clubs. The Coffin Club scenes? Chef's kiss for the aesthetic. Dark corners, mysterious strangers, that whole "I'm the only one who really understands" teenage energy.
But here's the thing—and I say this with love—this book is YOUNG. Like, younger than I remembered this series being. Some of the dialogue made me cringe a little (okay, a lot), and there are moments that feel almost cartoonishly stereotypical about goth culture. It's giving Hot Topic circa 2007. Which isn't necessarily bad! It's just... you need to know what you're getting into.
Devon Sorvari Carries This Thing
The narrator is genuinely the reason to listen instead of read. Devon Sorvari has this clear, engaging voice that pulls you through the slower first half without making you want to tap that 30-second skip button. She's won an Earphones Award and been nominated for an Audie, and honestly? You can hear why. The projection is consistent, the pacing feels natural, and she captures Raven's dramatic teenage intensity without making it grating.
I wouldn't say she's doing anything revolutionary with distinct character voices—this isn't a full-cast production by any means—but she keeps you grounded in Raven's perspective in a way that works for the story. It's solid, professional narration that elevates material that might feel thin on the page.
The Pacing Problem (And Why It Doesn't Really Matter)
Okay yes, the beginning drags. The first hour is a lot of Raven moping and planning, and I'll admit I zoned out during a design project and had to rewind a bit. But once she actually gets to the Coffin Club and starts investigating Alexander's whereabouts, it picks up considerably.
And that ending? There's this thing with a character named Trevor that left me genuinely wanting to know what happens next. Not in a "MY HEART IS SHATTERED" way—this isn't that kind of book—but in a "wait, what?" way that means I'll probably grab book three eventually.
Who Should Press Play (And Who Should Keep Scrolling)
This is for you if: You want vampire romance without the weight. You're nostalgic for mid-2000s goth culture. You need something light for multitasking or background listening while you work. You're introducing a younger reader (or listener) to the vampire romance genre.
Skip it if: You want emotional devastation. You need complex plotting. You're looking for mature romance content (this is solidly YA/kids territory). You have zero patience for teenage melodrama.
At just over four hours, it's a quick listen—perfect for a lazy Sunday or a couple of commutes. It's not going to change your life. It's not going to make you ugly-cry. But sometimes you just want to hang out with a dramatic goth girl chasing her vampire boyfriend, and for that specific vibe? It works.
Abuela Would've Raised An Eyebrow
She would have tolerated this one for me, I think. Vampires weren't her thing—she preferred her drama human and her romance telenovela-style—but she would've appreciated Raven's determination. That "I'm going to find my man no matter what" energy is pretty universal.
This is a rainy Sunday book. Cozy blanket, cup of coffee, cats judging you from across the room. Just don't expect it to wreck you. Sometimes that's exactly right.
