I know what you're thinking. "Tom, you're supposed to be analyzing procedural generation algorithms for your thesis, why are you listening to a thirty-minute audiobook about a Miniature Schnauzer?"
Valid question. (My advisor, Dr. Patel, would probably ask the same thing, but with more disappointment in his eyes.)
Here's the reality: I had just finished a massive re-listen of The First Law trilogy. Emotionally drained. Logen Ninefingers had put me through the wringer. I had code compiling that was going to take exactly half an hour. I needed a palate cleanser. Something with zero grimdark, zero political intrigue, and absolutely no moral ambiguity. I've been chasing that same feeling ever since I finished Majesty of Calmness—sometimes you just need something gentle to reset your brain.
Enter Boken The Dog - It's All About Me!.
Session Zero for a Dog Campaign
If I look at this through my DM goggles (which are always on, let's be real), this audiobook is basically a "Session Zero" for a really wholesome D&D campaign where everyone plays awakened canines.
Boken isn't giving you a plot arc here. He's giving you his character sheet. We learn his stats (Charisma is definitely his dump stat... just kidding, he thinks it's 20), his inventory (mostly snacks), his location (Spain, apparently? Exotic!), and his party members (his "amigos").
It's narrated by Neil Egerton—who I'm pretty sure is the author's dad, or at least the human familiar to Boken. The vibe is incredibly specific. It feels like that one enthusiastic uncle at the family reunion who really wants to tell you about his dog. And honestly? I didn't hate it.
The writing is super simple. It's literally just an introduction. "Hi, I'm Boken, here's what I like to eat." If you're expecting Sanderson-level world-building or a hard magic system based on bone-burying mechanics, you're in the wrong place. But for a quick, brain-off listen while I debug a script? It worked.
Sound Effects That Actually Earn Their Keep
Here's where it gets interesting from a production standpoint. They didn't just record a guy in a booth.
There are sound effects.
Now, usually, I'm a purist. I like my audiobooks dry unless it's a full-cast GraphicAudio production (which, fight me, are awesome). But here, the sound effects actually help. They add this layer of immersion that a kids' book kinda needs to keep the attention span from drifting. When Boken talks about his adventures, you get the audio cues to match. It's charming.
I saw some reviews online saying the narrator's voice was "annoying" or that there was "too much talk."
Guys. It's an audiobook. "Too much talk" is the medium.
As for the voice... look, it's high energy. It's cheeky. It's a Miniature Schnauzer personality translated into human speech. Is it Steven Pacey? No. But Neil Egerton brings a warm, distinct character voice that fits the text. If you're an adult listening to this on a commute without kids, yeah, you might find it a bit much after ten minutes. But I was smiling. (Don't tell anyone.)
Who's This Actually For?
It's 33 minutes long. Shorter than my commute to the comic shop.
This is strictly for two groups of people:
- Kids who love dogs and have short attention spans.
- Burned-out grad students who need to remember that happiness exists and sometimes takes the form of a cheeky dog in Spain.
Skip it if you need plot, stakes, or anything resembling narrative tension. This is pure vibes.
It's not going to change your life. It's not going to make you rethink the nature of heroism. But it's a cute, well-produced little snippet of life from a dog's perspective. Sometimes you just need to hear about a good boy having a good time.
Now, back to my thesis. (Or maybe just one more chapter of Dungeon Crawler Carl...)
