Pretty Little Liars #5: Wicked — Emily carries a book that lost its spark

I need to have a word with Sara Shepard about those first three hours.

It's 11 PM on a Tuesday, I'm deep-cleaning my bathroom because a client pushed their deadline (again), and I've got Wicked queued up because I am five books into this series and apparently incapable of quitting things. Diego is perched on the toilet lid judging me. Frida has retreated to the bedroom. Smart cat. Because for the first half of this audiobook, I kept reaching for my phone thinking maybe it had paused. It hadn't. We were just... sitting in the setup. Again.

Five Books In and Rosewood Still Won't Let Me Go

Here's the thing about Pretty Little Liars as a series - it's a telenovela in preppy clothing. My abuela would have recognized it instantly. The secret siblings, the buried family drama, the "but WHO sent the message" cliffhangers that keep you clicking next chapter even when you know you're being played. Wicked leans hard into that formula, and by book five, the formula is showing its seams.

Hanna's queen bee desperation? Been there. Spencer's family secrets? We've been excavating those since book one. The new A showing up right when they think they're safe? I mean - of course.

But then there's Emily. And this is where the book got me, even when I was annoyed at everything else. Emily and her "new boyfriend" - and I'm putting that in quotes because if you know this series, you know Emily's story is about a girl trying so hard to be someone she's not. Trying to fit into the version of herself that's easiest for everyone around her. That ache of watching someone choose the wrong thing because the right thing is terrifying? That hit different at midnight with tile cleaner on my hands. I didn't ugly-cry (my 47-book record is safe), but I felt a tight knot in my chest during her scenes that I wasn't expecting from book five of a YA series.

Aria's storyline with her mom's love interest gave me full telenovela energy - Abuela would have gasped, clutched her rosary, and then leaned in closer. Spencer's family drama had moments of genuine tension in the back half. Hanna... honestly Hanna's arc felt like filler this round. Sorry, Hanna.

Cassandra Morris and the Voice That Splits the Room

Okay, the narrator situation. Cassandra Morris has awards. She's clearly talented elsewhere. But her voice has this youthful, almost childlike quality that creates a weird dissonance when you're listening to scenes about blackmail, family betrayal, and teenagers navigating genuinely dark situations. It's like watching a soap opera where all the actors sound twelve.

I didn't hate it. But I didn't love it either. The emotional moments - especially Emily's quieter scenes - needed a warmth and weight that Morris doesn't quite deliver here. She reads cleanly, the pacing of her delivery is fine, but there's a flatness in the moments that should gut-punch you. And you know me - if the narrator can't sell the emotional beats, I'm already halfway out the door.

For reference: Julia Whelan would have destroyed Emily's storyline. Just obliterated me. Morris keeps you at arm's length when you need to be held close.

The Slow Burn That's Mostly Just Slow

The structure problem is real. First half: setup, setup, more setup, characters circling the same anxieties we've heard three books ago. Second half: things actually happen, new A gets menacing, the twists start landing. It's like Shepard wrote two different books and stapled them together.

I'll be honest - around hour three I bumped my speed to 1.25x for the first time in maybe six months. Me! The woman who listens at 1.0x on principle! That's how draggy the middle section felt. I dropped back down for the last two hours when things picked up, but the fact that I even touched that speed button tells you everything.

So Who's Actually Staying in Rosewood

If you're already deep in the PLL series, you're going to listen anyway and I respect that - we're in the same sinking boat. If you're starting fresh, absolutely do not start here. Go back to book one. Even Unbelievable, the previous installment, had some of the same pacing drag, though Morris left me equally uninvolved there. If you watched the TV show and want to compare, know that the books are slower, quieter, and way more internal than the show's constant chaos.

If you're like me and you pick up YA for the emotional gut-punches between your romance and memoir listens - this one will give you maybe one or two good ones, buried under a lot of recycled setup.

My Heart Was Only Half In It

This book felt like the middle chapter it is - necessary connective tissue, not the main event. Emily's storyline carried the emotional weight while everyone else coasted on familiar patterns. Cassandra Morris is fine but not the narrator who's going to make you feel things in your bones. I'll keep going with the series because I'm stubborn and because sometimes a telenovela just needs to get through its slow episode before the next big reveal hits. But this wasn't the one keeping me up past midnight.

The tile cleaner did that instead.