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Kiss the Girls audiobook cover

Kiss the Girls β€” Two killers competing like a twisted tactical unit

by James Patterson🎀Narrated by Michael KramerπŸ“šAlex Cross #2
🟑 Wait Sale
✍️ 3.8 Editorial
🎀 3.5 Narration
11h 0m
πŸŽ–οΈ

Mission Brief

Two killers competing like a twisted tactical unit

  • β€’Mission Pace: Short chapters hit like mortar rounds - Patterson wastes zero time getting to the next crisis.
  • β€’Comms Quality: Kramer handles the procedural elements well, though emotional beats occasionally fall flat.
  • β€’Op Tempo: Dark and propulsive with genuine tension, especially during the victim escape sequences.
  • β€’Final Assessment: Wait for Sale

Is this for you?

βœ…Pick this if: you want a propulsive thriller with short chapters for road trips Β· you liked Along Came a Spider and want more Alex Cross Β· you enjoy dark serial-killer tension and accept commercial thrills
❌Skip if: you need deep character work or literary prose · you're sensitive to violence against women in dark thrillers · you need realistic investigations without convenient breakthroughs
πŸ“šBest for fans of: Along Came a Spider, 20th Victim, Women's Murder Club
Read Time4 min read
Duration11h 0m
Best Speed:1.25x recommended for slower middle sections
Your rating?
James Cooper, audiobook curator
Reviewed byJames Cooper

Retired Colonel, 25 years Army. Cried during The Things They Carried.

🎧 Listens during long drives, looks for tight pacing and high stakes, zero tolerance for sloppy military details.

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Let me cut to the chase: Patterson knows how to run an operation. Two serial killers working coast to coast, coordinating like some kind of sick tactical unit - that's the kind of high-stakes scenario that kept me locked in during a drive from Austin to Houston and back.

I grabbed this one because I'd burned through Along Came a Spider last month and needed more Alex Cross. Patterson's got a whole arsenal of these - I picked up 20th Victim from his Women's Murder Club series, and it runs the same tight operation. Short chapters that hit like mortar rounds. No wasted movement. The man writes like he's got somewhere to be, and honestly? That works for me.

The Dual-Front Problem

Here's where it gets interesting from an operational standpoint. You've got Casanova working the East Coast, the Gentleman Caller out in LA, and they're - I'm not making this up - competing. Like some twisted body count leaderboard. Patterson rotates between perspectives, creating constant tension where you're never quite sure which threat is the priority.

The setup reminded me of coordinating between units in different theaters. Information flows imperfectly. Cross is piecing together intel from multiple sources, and you feel that frustration when the picture doesn't quite come together. Patterson gets the investigative chaos right - the false leads, the jurisdictional headaches, the moments where you're sure you've got your target and then... nothing.

What I appreciated: the victims aren't just bodies. Patterson takes time with them, particularly Kate McTiernan. She's a medical intern, sure, but she's also a kickboxer who refuses to be a passive victim. Ranger perked up during her escape sequence - that's how you know the tension's real.

Kramer Behind the Mic

Michael Kramer's narration is solid. Not spectacular, but solid. His range shows better in Never Split the Difference, where that steady delivery actually enhances the tactical negotiation content. Here, he keeps the pace moving, handles the multiple perspectives without losing you, and his Alex Cross has that methodical quality that fits the character. Cross is a forensic psychologist, not some hothead detective, and Kramer captures that analytical approach.

That said - and I'll be honest - there were stretches where the delivery felt flat. Some of the emotional beats, particularly with Cross's family, didn't land as hard as they should have. When Cross is dealing with his niece's disappearance, you want to feel that desperation. Kramer gives you competent, but I wanted gutted.

The villain voices work better. There's something appropriately unsettling about how Kramer handles Casanova's scenes. Not over-the-top creepy, just... off. Like talking to someone who's running a different operating system than the rest of us.

Where the Intel Gets Thin

Patterson's not writing literary fiction, and that's fine. But some of the procedural details made me wince. The FBI coordination felt too smooth, the breakthroughs too convenient. Real investigations are messier. More dead ends. More bureaucratic nonsense.

Also - personal gripe - the romantic subplot between Cross and Kate felt rushed. I get it, trauma bonding is a thing, but Patterson barely gives it room to breathe before moving on to the next action sequence. Like he checked a box and kept moving.

The 11-hour runtime is about right. Patterson's chapters are so short you could listen in 20-minute chunks and never lose the thread. I bumped it to 1.25x during some of the slower middle sections, but the climax plays better at normal speed.

The Morgan Freeman Factor

Can't talk about this book without mentioning the 1997 movie. Morgan Freeman as Alex Cross is basically perfect casting, and Ashley Judd as Kate brings more depth than the book version, honestly. If you've seen the film first, Kramer's narration might feel like a step down. That's not entirely fair to Kramer - Freeman's voice is a weapon - but it's worth noting.

The book gives you more. More victims, more time inside the killers' heads, more of Cross's internal process. The movie streamlined for Hollywood, which meant losing some of the creepier elements. Both work, but they're different operations.

Mission Debrief

If you're looking for a thriller that moves, this is mission accomplished. Patterson built his reputation on books like this - tight, propulsive, unapologetically commercial. Kramer's narration gets the job done without getting in the way.

Skip it if you want deep character work or literary prose. This ain't that. Also, if you're sensitive to violence against women, fair warning - the subject matter gets dark. Grab it if you're a thriller fan who wants to knock out a book on a road trip, you liked Along Came a Spider and want more Cross, or you need something engaging enough to make a long commute disappear.

Ranger approved this one. He stayed awake for the whole drive home, which is more than I can say for most audiobooks.

After-Action Report πŸ“‹

Audio production quality notes that may affect your listening experience

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Read by a single narrator throughout the entire audiobook.

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Contains sensitive themes that some listeners may find distressing.

Note: These technical issues are minor and won't significantly impact most listeners. Consider them when choosing listening environments or if you're particularly sensitive to audio quality.

Quick Info

Release Date:August 12, 2014
Duration:11h 0m
Language:English
Best Speed:1.25x
Audio Code:58694736

About the Narrator

Michael Kramer

Michael Kramer is an American audiobook narrator with over 30 years of experience, known for narrating epic fantasy series including Brandon Sanderson's works. He has recorded more than 200 audiobooks for trade publishers and the Library of Congress's Talking Books program. Kramer is also a seasoned theater artist with a Helen Hayes Ensemble Award nomination.

27 books
4.2 rating

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