Okay, so I'm going to admit something. I've watched exactly zero episodes of Vanderpump Rules. I know, I know. But somehow Stassi Schroeder's podcast clips kept popping up on my Instagram, and when I saw this audiobook was under five hours? Sold. That's like three school drop-off runs and maybe one blessed nap time. Perfect.
Here's the thing though - everyone kept telling me I'd either love this or hate it. No in-between. And honestly? They were right, but not in the way I expected.
The Voice You Either Vibe With Or Don't
Stassi narrates this herself, and within the first ten minutes you'll know if you're in or out. She's got that valley girl cadence that some people find grating - lots of upspeak, lots of "like" and "literally." But here's my controversial take: it works. It sounds exactly like my college roommate who I still text memes to at 2 AM. It sounds like the mom at pickup who always has the good gossip. It sounds real.
Is it polished? Nope. Does she sometimes sound like she's reading to you from her living room couch with a glass of rosé? Absolutely. But that's... kind of the point? She's not pretending to be something she's not. The whole book is about embracing the things you love without apology, and her narration is basically that philosophy in action.
I listened to most of this during my sacred car-in-the-garage time (don't judge, it's the only peace I get), and it genuinely felt like hanging out with a friend. A very specific type of friend who has strong opinions about ranch dressing and will absolutely tell you about her plastic surgery in graphic detail. But still a friend.
What This Actually Is (And Isn't)
Let me save you some confusion: this is not a self-help book. It's not really a memoir either, though there are autobiographical bits. It's more like... a manifesto? A comedic defense of loving what you love without irony?
Stassi goes through all the "basic" things she refuses to be embarrassed about - pumpkin spice, astrology, romantic comedies, Instagram outfit posts. And look, some of it is shallow. I'm not going to pretend there's deep wisdom about the human condition here. But there IS something weirdly refreshing about someone just... owning their preferences without the performative self-awareness we all do now.
The chapters on her breakups and Vanderpump Rules drama will obviously hit different if you watch the show. I was a little lost during some of the cast references. But the broader stuff - the insecurity, the people-pleasing, the figuring out who you are in your late twenties - that landed even without context.
Also, fair warning: she talks about sex. And drinking. And more sex. If you're listening with kids in the car, maybe wait for solo time. I learned this the hard way when Emma asked what "walk of shame" meant. Cool cool cool.
The Parts That Made Me Laugh Out Loud
There's a whole section about ranch dressing that is genuinely unhinged in the best way. And her chapter on astrology had me nodding along even though I know it's ridiculous (I'm a Libra, for the record, and yes I fit every stereotype). She's funny when she's not trying too hard, which is most of the time.
The audiobook format really works here because you get her timing, her pauses, her emphasis. Some of the jokes would probably fall flat on the page but land perfectly when she delivers them. It's like the difference between reading a text and hearing someone tell the story in person.
Who This Is (And Isn't) For
If you need substance with your entertainment, this ain't it. For actual substance, I'd point you toward Extreme Ownership - completely opposite vibe but way more meat on the bones. If vocal fry makes you want to throw your phone out the window, definitely skip. If you're expecting life-changing insights, you will be disappointed.
But if you want something light and funny that doesn't require a single brain cell? If you need a palate cleanser after something heavy? If you just want to feel like someone gets your love of cozy sweaters and overpriced coffee? This is your book.
The Mom Verdict
Probably wouldn't listen again - it's not that kind of book. But I don't regret the time at all. It made me laugh during a week when the kids were feral and my husband was traveling and I was running on three hours of sleep. Sometimes that's exactly what you need.
Not groundbreaking. Not life-changing. Just fun. And honestly? Fun is underrated.
