A "Hotfix" for Your Commute: Short, Snarky, and Dragon-Approved
Okay, let's be real for a second. Sometimes my brain is just fried. I've spent eight hours staring at stack traces, two hours on a train that smells like damp wool, and I just cannot handle a 40-hour epic fantasy where I have to memorize three distinct magic systems. (Looking at you, Wizard's First Rule—loved it, but my brain needed a break from all that worldbuilding.)
Yesterday was one of those days. I needed a palate cleanser. A mental sorbet.
Enter Forbidden Ground.
It's barely an hour and a half long. I literally started this when I boarded at Mountain View and finished it just as we were pulling into San Francisco (okay, we had a signal delay at Millbrae, but still). Short. Punchy. Basically the DLC content for the main Death Before Dragons game.
The "Bottle Episode" Vibe
If you haven't read Lindsay Buroker before, here's the quick version: She writes snarky heroines who are competent but tired (relatable), and she pairs them with arrogant, overpowered love interests. In this case, we have Val, a half-elf assassin, and Zav, a dragon who thinks he's God's gift to the Pacific Northwest.
They go to the Oregon Vortex. You know, that roadside attraction where physics supposedly glitches out? (As someone who debugs distributed systems, the idea of a localized physics bug is both terrifying and hilarious.)
The plot is simple: Go there, investigate a murder, try not to kill each other.
It feels like a "monster of the week" episode. Or a side quest you grind for XP. The stakes aren't "end of the world" high, but the banter? Top-tier. Val and Zav are "definitely not dating" (Kevin and I had this phase, it lasted six months, everyone knew but us), and the friction between them carries the whole story. That slow-burn tension reminds me of A Court of Thorns and Roses, except Val would absolutely mock Feyre for being so dramatic about it.
Let's Talk About the "Robotic" Voice
I did a quick grep of the reviews before downloading, and I saw some people complaining that Vivienne Leheny sounds "robotic."
Here's my hot take: You're listening too slow.
Leheny has this very precise, dry delivery. If you listen at 1.0x, yeah, I can see how it might sound a bit staccato. But bump that speed up to 1.5x or 1.75x? She is crisp.
Her voice for Val is perfect—it drips with that specific kind of exhaustion that comes from dealing with magical nonsense 24/7. It's not monotone; it's deadpan. There's a difference.
And her Zav? She drops her register without sounding like she's gargling gravel (a common issue with female narrators doing dragon voices). She captures his arrogance perfectly. You can practically hear the eye-rolls in the audio.
Is It Worth the Bandwidth?
Look, if you're hunting for deep emotional character arcs or sprawling world-building, this isn't it. This is a snack.
But here's the ROI calculation:
Pros:
- Zero fluff. It starts, things explode, sarcastic comments are made, it ends.
- The chemistry is fun.
- The Oregon Vortex setting is a cool, creepy backdrop that Buroker actually uses well.
Cons:
- It's over before you know it.
- If you don't know the characters from the main series, you might feel like you walked into the middle of an inside joke.
A warning: There's a scene where Val and Zav have to fight each other due to some magic mind-whammy. It's actually surprisingly tense for such a short book—highlights that while they banter, they are both lethal weapons. I dug it.
The Verdict
Don't spend a full Audible credit on this—the cost-per-minute ratio is terrible. But if you can get it on a subscription deal, through a library app, or part of a sale? Absolutely grab it.
Who should listen: Fans already invested in Val and Zav's dynamic who want a quick, banter-heavy fix. Also anyone whose brain is too fried for epic fantasy but still craves some supernatural snark.
Who should skip: Newcomers to the series (you'll miss too much context) and anyone expecting substantial plot or character development.
It's the perfect length for a gym session or a "my code is compiling and I need to walk away before I smash my keyboard" break.
(Now I just need to convince Kevin to start this series so I can tell him he's basically Zav. He'll take it as a compliment. Ugh.)
