Okay, so here's the thing about 33-hour audiobooks when you're a mom of three: they're basically a commitment longer than some of my relationships. I started The Dragonbone Chair thinking I'd knock it out in a couple weeks. That was... optimistic. We're talking two months of car time, nap time, and hiding-in-the-garage time before I finally finished this beast.
And honestly? Worth it. Mostly.
The Slow Burn That Actually Burns
Look, I'm not going to pretend this book doesn't take its sweet time getting going. Simon starts as a kitchen boy who daydreams too much and gets in trouble a lot. (Honestly, he reminded me of Lucas. Same energy.) The first several hours are Tad Williams building this incredibly detailed world brick by brick, and if you're expecting immediate dragon fights and sword clashing, you're gonna be disappointed.
But here's what I didn't expect—I actually loved the slow parts? There's something about following Simon through his mundane castle life, learning about the Sithi and the history of Osten Ard, that felt like settling into a really good blanket. Not everything needs to be a sprint. Sometimes you want a story that trusts you to stick around.
The payoff comes when things finally go sideways. And when they go sideways, they go SIDEWAYS. Dark sorcery, undead elf kings, political scheming—it all builds to something genuinely epic. I get why George R.R. Martin calls this one of his favorites. You can see the DNA of modern fantasy here. That slow-build complexity reminded me of Beyond Good and Evil, though obviously in a completely different genre—both demand you trust the journey before the destination clicks.
Andrew Wincott Made Me Care About a Kitchen Boy
I couldn't find a ton about Andrew Wincott online beyond his Earphones Award (which, fair, that's legit), but based on 33 hours of listening, the man knows what he's doing. His voice has this gravitas that makes even the slower worldbuilding sections feel important. Like you're being told something that matters.
His character voices are solid—you can tell who's speaking without the "he said, she said" crutch, which is huge when you're pausing every three minutes because someone needs a snack. The Sithi have this otherworldly quality to their speech that Wincott nails. And Simon's journey from clueless kid to someone with actual purpose? You can hear it in how Wincott's performance shifts.
That said, I'll be honest—there are stretches where even great narration can't hide that not much is happening. Wincott doesn't get to show off his full range as often as I'd like because some sections are just... description. Lots of walking. Lots of thinking about walking. Pretty scenery while walking.
The Mom Reality Check
Here's where I have to be real with you. This book survived approximately 847 pauses (rough estimate) and I could still follow the story when I came back. That's genuinely impressive for something this complex. The worldbuilding is deep enough that you'd think you'd lose the thread, but Williams writes in a way that reminds you of important details when they matter.
BUT. And this is a big but. If you're looking for something you can finish during nap time? This ain't it. This is a marathon, not a sprint. I actually think it might be better as a re-listen once you know where everything's going—some reviewers mentioned that and I get it now.
The violence is there but not gratuitous. The dark sorcery stuff is creepy but not nightmare-inducing. I wouldn't let Emma listen to it yet, but it's not as brutal as some modern fantasy. Classic epic fantasy vibes.
Who's Got the Time (And Who Doesn't)
If you're a fantasy fan with patience and realistic expectations about time commitment, this is the good stuff—the foundation that inspired so much of what came after. Skip it if you need fast pacing or can only listen in short bursts without losing the plot. Just maybe don't start it the week before school lets out for summer. Ask me how I know.
Already Downloaded Book Two (Don't Tell Anyone)
So here's my dilemma. I genuinely loved this book. The ending left me wanting more, Simon grew on me in a big way, and the world of Osten Ard feels like somewhere I want to spend more time. But there are two more books in this trilogy, plus sequel series, and I'm doing the math on how many months of my life that represents.
(Don't tell anyone, but I already downloaded book two.)
