I judged a book by its narrator.
I saw "Alan Cumming" listed as the performer and clicked Buy before I even read the synopsis. I would listen to that man read a CVS receipt. I honestly expected a memoir or maybe some witty contemporary fiction. Instead? I got World War I reimagined with giant genetically modified whale-airships and steam-powered robot walkers.
(Yes, you read that right. Whales. As blimps.)
I usually stick to rom-coms or the occasional thriller because my brain is mush by 8 PM, but this? This was a wild ride I didn't know I needed.
Why I'd Listen to Alan Cumming Read the Phonebook
Let's be real—audiobooks live or die by the voice in your ear. And Alan Cumming isn't just reading here; he is performing. He brings this manic, theatrical energy that somehow fits perfectly with a story about bio-engineered beasts and clanking machines.
He juggles accents like he's showing off. One minute he's a posh Austrian prince on the run, the next he's a rough-around-the-edges Scottish girl pretending to be a boy in the British Air Service. And he nails it. Every time.
There's a specific rhythm to his voice—energetic, crisp, a little mischievous—that kept me awake during the afternoon slump. You know, that time between school pickup and dinner prep where you just want to lay on the kitchen floor? This book actually got me to empty the dishwasher instead. That is high praise.
History Class, But Make It Weird
So the premise is basically: What if WWI happened, but the British ("Darwinists") used DNA-spliced monsters as weapons, and the Germans/Austrians ("Clankers") used giant Star Wars-style walkers?
It sounds complicated. (And honestly, usually when books start explaining "world-building" mechanics, I zone out. My brain space is fully occupied by remembering which kid has gym on Tuesdays.) But Westerfeld writes it in a way that just makes sense. You don't need a wiki open to follow along.
The story alternates between Aleksandar (the prince) and Deryn (the girl-soldier). It's technically Young Adult, which usually means "prepare for angst," but the whining is minimal here. If you're into YA that prioritizes action over drama, Pretties (also by Westerfeld) has that same fast-paced energy. It's mostly adventure, close calls, and really cool descriptions of living airships.
The "Car Time" Verdict
I listened to this almost exclusively in the car—sometimes with the kids, sometimes without.
The Good: It's clean enough for my 7-year-old and 5-year-old to hear in the background (no spice, minimal swearing), but engaging enough that I didn't switch to a podcast the second they got out of the car.
The Bad: Okay, not bad, but heads up—it is the first in a series. The ending is satisfying enough, but it definitely leaves you knowing there's more. If you're a history buff who gets annoyed when facts are twisted, take a deep breath. It's fantasy. Lord of the Flies takes a much darker, more realistic approach to survival and human nature if you need something grounded after all this steampunk chaos. Let the whale fly.
Who's This For (And Who Should Skip)
Perfect for: parents who want something they can listen to with kids in the car but won't bore you to tears, anyone needing a break from heavy emotional dramas, and people who trust Alan Cumming with their earbuds. Skip it if: alternate history makes you twitchy, you need a complete standalone, or you're looking for romance.
Bottom line? It's fun. It's weird. And Alan Cumming makes it sound incredible. Great palate cleanser when you need one.
